That's right! I've hopped on the wedding train and am officially engaged! Mike, my fiancé, asked me at Disneyland in the pouring rain outside of Cinderella's castle. That wasn't his original plan, but I thought it was perfect. We immediately started calling family and friends, put the engagement on Facebook (because nothing's official until you put it on Facebook) and everyone seemed genuinely excited and happy for us. Everyone that is, except my dad.
After two days of not hearing back from my dad, we finally got a hold of him and scheduled a day for the three of us to go to dinner. Dinner was like a scene out of "Meet the Parents" complete with the lie detector interrogation part. The meal started with my dad looking at us and laughing then saying "you two will go your separate ways soon", and ended with him just ignoring Mike for the rest of the meal. No "congrats" or "welcome to the family" just a big dose of "this is going to end in divorce".
Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate my dad, he's normally a fine guy and his experience with marriage has been less then stellar. But after that meal I was ready to jump on the first bus to Vegas and get married right then. I didn't for any mom's that are reading this, but I was pretty annoyed.
So what do you do when you've got a family member that doesn't support your decision to get married? Do you go "fine, if you don't support us then you're not invited?" or do you be the bigger person and try to win them over?
Every bride-to-be I've talked to has run into this problem with some family member or friend, and from what I've gathered there is no good answer. On your big day you want people around you who support and love you, and if they can't do just that then why have them there? On the other hand, if that person is your close family and has supported you up until then, you're probably going to miss not having them there.
Ultimately I think it's up to both the couple getting married and the person with the issue. The person with the issue has to decide whether they're going support you and be at the wedding, or not support you and stay at home with the cats. The couple just has to decide if they want the aforementioned person at their wedding or not. Does that mean that you can't show them that you're a great couple who loves eachother, and that you want them in your lives? No. But it doesn't mean you have to beat a dead horse.




